ISO9000, maybe the greatest hoax of all

Well, it is that time of the year. Preparations for an audit to make sure we do comply with ISO9000 requirements. In a nutshell, the main idea is that everyone within the organization follow written procedures. Ok, it’s a noble idea with good intentions ( perhaps ) and yet, probably pisses me off because I DIDN’T come up with this idea myself !!!!!…. think about it…. some smarty ┬ápans thought a while ago, let’s create a standard that everyone must follow and then we can make a very good business by policing how they do the things they say they do ( is your head spinning already? ). Long story short, the ones enforcing the standard, don’t produce anything and yet they charge a good chunk of money !!!!!. I do believe having written procedures is beneficial for the organization because helps to maintain continuity when resources migrate to greener pastures, among other things. The part I do not agree ( or dislike if you will ), is the additional pressure ( on top of everything all employees have to deal with now a days ) to get scrutinized by an external person that pretends to know more than the ones that do the job !!!. Well, I think the most flagrant flaw in ISO9000 philosophy goes like this….. how about this….. what if we would write just ONE procedure. Yes, only ONE written procedure and that would read “We do NOT follow any written procedures but this one”. Voila, there you go !!!!…. it is a perfect statement where we would do as we say we do and then we would be perfectly compliant !!!!!! ( Of course I am being sarcastic ). Another way around is to book vacation days during the audit ( management won’t like it, of course ) or even, play the second language card !!!… when the auditor comes over and start asking questions then I could tell him “No hablo Ingles”…. ( Yes, sarcasm again ). I am just venting to myself. The reality of the situation is that the audit is upon us and most importantly, if I have time to write this blog then, no doubt I do have time to prepare, as I should. Always grateful that I do have a good job !!!!